As we conclude on this series, it is important we discuss trends in the society we live in now. The bible was written many years ago and this means that so much about society has changed since then. Though it is still relevant for our time as the human condition remains the same, we might struggle to find some direct references and examples to situations we are currently facing. When we struggle to find examples or references, we look for biblical principles to guide us.

Trend No 1: Is online dating good for Christians? “It’s not whom you meet it's whom you marry” John Piper. We read in 1 Corinthians 7:39 and 2 Corinthians 6:14 that the condition for any Christian choosing a spouse is that they marry a fellow Christian. A mature believe will not settle for anything less than the Christian marriage described in Ephesians 5:22-24. In this bible verse, we see a man and his wife dying to themselves to create something holy. Whilst marriage is beautiful, it is also hard as it requires sacrifice. It requires a lot of self-denial for the sake of your spouse. Therefore, a mature believer will not simply look for beautiful eyes, long hair, jewellery with the cross on them etc but will seek to find someone who is familiar with self-denial. Matthew 16:24 “if any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me”; a Christian man or woman who wants to marry must look for a follower of Jesus who has learnt what it is to die to self in allegiance to Jesus. If you decide to look for a spouse via online dating, try to learn as much as possible about them before getting invested and seek counsel from the Holy Spirit. The main question for anyone seeking this route is ; Are you mature enough to discern a worthy spouse? If the answer to this is no, I urge you to continue to work on your relationship with God until you are ready. If you are still unsure, I advise you to seek accountability within your church or Christian mentorship.

Trend No 2: How long should Christians date before marriage? Courtship was conducted in a different manner in the bible compared to how it is conducted now. Back then, you could marry someone you didn’t know but with divorce on the rise, individuals prefer to take their time when getting to know each other. The main question here is; what is the purpose of dating? We date with an intention to get to know each other as much as possible. For some it may be a few months, for others it may be a few years depending on the circumstance. The greatest christian principle we could apply here is that God has given us his Holy Spirit to help us. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can discern God’s will for our lives even in dating.

Trend No 3: Can Christians move in together before marriage to save money? This by far is the most popular trend on our list. It is very common nowadays for couples to live together before getting married and the main reason for this is money. The idea is that if they lived together, they could get a feel of what it is like to be married and most importantly save money to buy a house or have a dream wedding. When living together, there is a risk a couple will develop a sexual relationship but aside from sexual sin, there is a greater issue at hand here and that is trust. When we disobey the word of God to

follow what we believe is wise, we demonstrate a lack of trust for God. Our wisdom is foolishness in comparison to God’s wisdom (1cor 3:19). If we believe everything good comes from God, we must have faith to believe he will provide everything we need at the right time (Prov 3:5-6). If you require any help or advice based on the topics we have mentioned above or any other things we have discussed in this series, please contact us on tel:07878108989.

Claud Jaiyeola

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