As a young person, whenever we hear the word sex in church we automatically feel tense
and uncomfortable. Most of the time, we hear the negative sides to sex rather than all
that God intended it to be. This can leave us feeling horrified to have genuine
conversations about it and hinder us from seeking accountability and counsel due to fear
of judgment.
What is sex? Firstly, sex was created by the God of bible and this implies that it is a good
for companionship and we know that true love is not self-serving, therefore in marriage, a
mutually exclusive from each other; God created sex to be enjoyed by one man and one
woman in a committed relationship called marriage. As well as pleasure, sex is also for
procreation (Gen1:28).
For us to be on the same page, it will be good to have the same idea of what sexual
activity entails. Sexual activity involves the use of physical touch or (in the case of
‘sexting’) words, to give pleasure or arouse one’s self or someone else. We read in
Hebrews 13:4 that the marriage bed should be kept pure, free from fornication (sexual
activity between two unmarried people) and adultery (sexual activity between a married
person and someone who isn’t their spouse). Why does God want us to wait till marriage
for sex and honour it? I believe the answer to this question lies in God’s design for
marriage and society. Marriage is a covenant between a man and woman built on the
foundations of mutual love, affection and commitment. It was created to satisfy our need
space to explore each other's bodies (in a way that is respectful to each other) and satisfy
man and a woman seek to serve each other even with their bodies. It creates a safe
space to explore each others bodies (in a way that is respectful to each other) and satisfy
each other’s sexual needs. When we read songs of songs in the bible, we read about the
joy and excitement a man and his bride have in exploring each other’s bodies and
enjoying companionship (songs of songs 1:13, 2:4-7, 4:3-5). I believe that this is God’s
desire for every marriage if we are willing to trust him.
I understand that deciding to be sexually pure in a society like ours is difficult. Everything
around us is sexualised. From the music we listen to the movies we watch. We are
constantly been shown a distorted view of how and when we should express our sexual
desires. Movies have glamorised having one night stands and multiple sexual partners.
We are exposed to explicit pictures from social media which can lead to lust, peer
pressure and feelings of being left out can cause us to make decisions we will later regret
and sadly, many have been subject to sexual abuse from a young age. Yet God still calls
us to a higher standard in 2020. We are called to be people of sexual integrity and purity.
In order to fight against sexual sin, we have to be honest with ourselves. We
acknowledge that we have urges and submit to God. We choose not to act on the
feelings we have and put our trust in God. We also have to seek accountability; find a
mentor or a friend to be accountable to. Choosing to surround ourselves with like minded
people will help us in our walk with God. Lastly, we must remember the rewards of
waiting till marriage to engage in sexual activity; sharing your body with someone you are
exclusively committed to in the bounds of marriage is truly a wonderful thing as you will
get to enjoy it the way God the creator intended it be.
If you feel you have gone too far already, its never too late to turn back to God. He wants
to redeem you and restore all the good plans he has for you. 2 Tim 2:22 tells us to flee
from lust and pursue all that is right, this means we have to make the conscious decision
to disassociate ourselves from anything or anyone that will cause us to sin. Surround
yourself with people of faith who can pray for you and help you find your way back,
spend time reading the word of God and allow it to renew your mind.
If you would like further advice and prayers please contact us on tel:07878108989.
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By
Claud Jaiyeola